


It's Consuming Me

by precioushoshiii



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:12:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9855449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/precioushoshiii/pseuds/precioushoshiii
Summary: Loving someone can be deadly. Who would've know the consequence of love, am i right? If only they know.





	

Seungcheol 

His eyes...  
His nose...  
His lips...   
The way he smiles,   
The way his voice dance out of his lips,   
The aura he emits,   
He make me fell, and I fell too deep,  
The more I look, the more I fall.   
Making it hard, for me to accept,   
He won’t be mine.   
EVER  
I just had to make sure, no one else will.

EYES  
His eyes are following me, as I made my way to him. The way his eyes shook, it makes me feel strong. I’m controlling him. I love the way he looks at me, he looks frightened enough to even make any sound. Oh I love the eyes. I wished for it to follow me, and I have got it.   
It is all I need.   
“Jihoon ah” I made my way to the bed, where he had been tied to. I conjured up my best smile as I sat on the bed, by his side. My hand touch his face, stroked it. He had the softest skin I have ever touch. All mine now. Grinning to myself, I ripped the duct tape from his face. “Are you hungry?” I asked, concerned as haven’t eat anything, ever since he arrived, which was 7 hours ago, or should I say, abducted? I should, should I.  
“No” he spits on my face, growling at me afterwards. He pulls his face away from my hand. Harshly brought his face, facing me again “You have to eat Jihoon, or else, Soonyoung will be mad at me, right?”I gave him the sweetest smile I can give, which is not that hard. Glaring at me, he answered “He will kill you when he knows, you’re the one behind this all thing!” he trashed on the bed, as if he can get out.  
SLAP  
Sound of my hand palm hits his face echoed throughout the room as his face turn the other side, tears brimming as he felt the pain. “you’re really are stubborn”   
He turns to look at me, glaring his eyes. I see the tears, the beautiful tears. Only for me. I smile wiped his tears with my thumb. “I’ll be back with your food” smiling again, I leant towards, giving him a small kiss on his forehead.   
Turning my heels towards the door, I walked out. I can feel his eyes on me. The beautiful eyes I have fallen in love with. Following me, just like how I wished. It is all mine now.

NOSE  
I walked inside the room with the food I promised him. I saw how he watches me walks in, and I can see that he was sniffing the delicious smell from the meal. I smiles gently, trudging towards the bed.   
“I brought food” I set the food on the side table before sitting on the bed, by his side. He set his eyes on me and shook his head. “I’m not hungry” he looks away, taking his eyes off me. I don’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. I want his eyes on me, and on me only.   
I reached to grab his face, when I heard a cute grumble from him, or should I say tummy? He’s hungry and he’s denying it. “you’re hungry, don’t deny it, Jihoon”   
“open your mouth, Ji” I cooed as I put the tip of the spoon on his lips. He turns his head to the other side, avoiding the spoon. “Jihoon” I sighed, put down the spoon in the bowl again, before grabbing his face, turning to my way again. “you need to eat Ji.”  
“no, I don’t need to” he turn his face to the other side again.   
“ji, don’t do this to me” I plead, putting the bowl on the side table again. “doing what, Seungcheol? You brought me here. You separate me from Soonyoung. You did this. What did I do Cheol? I thought you were my friend!” He glares at me, tears pooling in his eyes.  
“that” I said. He looks at me, confused with my answer. “I did what?” he asked me. Gosh, how can he be so clueless at the same time, cute? “I’m just a friend.” “yes, a frie-” “I don’t want to be just friend! I don’t want to” I glares at him, standing up from the bed, looking down to him, fuming.   
“w-what? What do you mea-” “why are you so clueless Jihoon? Why? Haven’t I gave you hint on how much I love you? How I hold your hand, how I would stand by you, hugging your side, hugging from back, taking care of you. NO?” ruffling my hair, frustrated. “forget it.”  
Dropping the subject, I sat back on the bed, taking the bowl again before scooping the food reaching it out to him. “eat Ji, i’ve work so hard for this” he looks at me, confused. Dropping all the questions, he eats it. Slowly. I sees the way his lips tugged a bit as he taste. He takes in the smell of the meal again, and I know, I did a good job in making it. Bless Jeonghan’s recipe.   
The last spoon, he took in the smell of it before taking it into his mouth. He loves it. I’m glad. Taking in on how he looks as he scrunches his nose, taking in the aroma of the meal, I love it. It is all mine. 

LIPS  
I watches how he crunches his teeth while he sleep. How his smile makes its way to his lips. How beautiful. I reach for a chair and sit by the bed, watching him sleep. I look at him, starting from is hair, to his forehead, eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes, nose, down to his lips. Biting my own lips, trying to get out of thoughts on tasting his lips. Shaking my head a bit, continuing trailing my eyes down to his jawline, neck, his adam apple. Cutest.   
Trailing my eyes down to his chest, as it heaves up and down when he breathes in and out, calmly, as he was asleep. Smiles on my lips, I trails my eyes down to his stomach, his waistline, stopping at the bulge, forming between his legs. Shaking my head again at the thoughts, chuckles lightly as I continue down to his thigh, knee, his calf, ankle and slowly reaching his feet and toes. Thinking about how I love his being.   
Everyone have their favourite, and I have mine too. My eyes went back to his lips, smiling to myself as I set my eyes on his lips. My favourite part. How I wish i can get a kis- I can. Grinning, I stood, moving myself a bit to the bed, carefully, not making any noise. As I try not to make the bed move, even though I know how heavy sleeper Jihoon is, I don’t want to take a risk, waking him up when I’m simply admiring him right now.   
Supporting myself with my right hand on the head of the bed, leaning closer to his face. I can feel his breathe on my face as he breathe out. Almost letting out a chuckle, I lean in slowly, before touching my lips with his. His soft lips, on mine. Even though it was just a peck, a touch, it was enough to make my head spin, feels like I was on cloud 9 if that was they called it. I love the feel of his lips on mine. So soft, yet so hard to get.   
Pulling away, I stand straight as I took in the view in front of me again. Beautiful. I see how Jihoon smiles in his lips. Maybe a good dream, or he felt my lips. Dream on Choi Seungcheol. Swiping my finger on my lips, still tingling from the touch of Jihoon’s lips on mine. All mine. 

Yawning, I trudged into my room. Still can’t believe how I stay up all night, watching Jihoon. Smiling to myself, oh the things I did for love.   
Dropping myself on the bed, slowly losing consciousness as I went into dreamland. Not minding the whole world, I sleep. 

Jihoon

EYES  
I look around the room, feeling the tightness on my wrist. Wincing on how it hurts me. Where am I? Is the only thought running in my head. Even though the room is dark, I can make out a few things such as wardrobe by the door, I assume the toilet. Looking to the side, I saw a big wide window, which I realize was a sliding door. This place seems familiar.   
Roaming my eyes around the room again, trying to take in the environment. Slowly remembering where am I. I realizes it is one of the guest room in Seungcheol’s house.   
What happened   
I tried to remember, when the door open and there he was, Seungcheol, walking in with all his mighty towards the bed, where I was tied too. I felt shiver went down my spine as I watch him. Frightened on what would he do to me.   
“Jihoon ah” His voice, the way my name slip out his voice. The power he used to say my name, I’m scared. Really scared. This is not the Seungcheol I know. Soonyoung ah, save me. Closing my eyes before I open it.   
I watched him as he sat down beside me, “Are you hungry” that question, is stupid. How could you do this to me. You were my friend. Best friend to be exact. why?   
Spitting to his face, as I slowly remember how did I ended up here, I growled “No” as my answered, turning away from him. I felt his hand grabbing my face harshly, pulling it to his way. “You have to eat Jihoon, or else, Soonyoung will be mad at me, right?” Bullshits. That smile. Stupid smile. How could he smile when he do this. Sick bastard.   
“He will kill when he knows, you’re the one behind this all thing!” trashing on the bed, pulling my hand trying to get out. I failed though.   
SLAP  
Sting. My face felt sting. He slapped me. It hurts so much. I never know Seungcheol will do this to me. Tears brimming in my eyes as the sting slowly starts to feel. It really hurts.   
“you’re really are stubborn” His voice echoed in the room. Stubborn. Tsk He is the stubborn one. I glares at him, not minding how tears blurred my sight.   
He smiles. He wiped my tears with his thumb, which I feel like breaking them into pieces. “I’ll be back with your food” smile made its way to his face again. Fucking stop smiling bastard! I glares at him as I felt his soft lips on my forehead. Only if I can cut that lips off.  
I watched him, walking out of the room, before bawling my eyes out calling for soonyoung.   
Save me Soonyoung ah  
Save me  
Save me...   
All I can do is wishing.   
Wishing that I can get out of this hell  
Get out of this place  
Get out of Seungcheol’s grip.   
I’m scared. Really scared. He’s not Seungcheol. He’s a devil. 

NOSE  
I can smell something delicious. My stomach growls as it was empty for how long, I don’t know...   
The door open, and I saw the devil itself walks in with tray of food on his hand. Grumble, wishing it wasn’t him who walks in, but Soonyoung himself. I miss you Soonyoung ah, save me please.. I won’t stop wishing for Soonyoung to come and save me, from this devil.   
He put the tray on the side table, and he sat on the same spot he sat earlier, beside me. “I brought food’ I hate his voice. How I wish he would just shut the fu up. If only..   
I sensed his eyes on me, I look at him “I’m not hungry” before turning to the other side, which I should reconsider when I felt his hand reaching for my face again, before my stomach make a sound, that shouldn’t be made right now. How I wish I can kill myself right now.   
He grabbed my face and turn it to his way again, “you’re hungry, don’t deny it, jihoon” Yes I’m hungry! But I don’t want your food. I want Soonyoung’s.   
I felt the spoon on my mouth, “open your mouth, Ji” his sickening voice cooed. Shut up bastard! I turn my head to the side again, avoiding the spoon.   
“Jihoon” I heard he sighed and the sound of the bowl been put away. He’s grabbing my face again. This is tiring. I look into his eyes “you need to eat Ji”   
I glares at him, I don’t know how many time I did today. “no I don’t need to” turning my head again. My neck is hurt of this game.   
“ji, don’t do this to me” I look at him, scoffed. “doing what, Seungcheol? You brought me here. You separate me from Soonyoung. You did this. What did I do Cheol? I thought you were my friend!” Glaring at him for the umpteenth times, as I felt tears pooling in my eyes. I wanna go home. I want Soonyoung. This is hurting me.  
“That” he said. What? I look at him, confused about his answer. “I did what?” I asked him. He looks at me disbelief, what? You expect me to understand that ? “I’m just a friend” well.. yeah “Yes, a frie-” “I don’t want to be just friend! I don’t want to” He glares at me. What? I’m confusing wait wha? “w-what? What do you mea-” “Why are you so fucking clueless Jihoon? Why? Haven’t I gave you hint on how much I love you? How I hold your hand, how I would stand by you, hugging your side, hugging from back, taking care of you. NO?” He’s mad. I know. He’s ruffling his out of frustration. I know Seungcheol. “forget it.” Wait wha? Ugh. He’s making me confused. He loves me..?  
He dropped the subject, and sat back on the bed. I watched him as he took the bowl again and scooping the food. “eat Ji, I’ve work so hard for this” I didn’t hear him as I was processing his word earlier. I look at him, confused. I just decided to drop it for now, and take in the food. It taste so good… How? He doesn’t know how to cook I almost smile. He keeps on feeding me. Well, I can’t used my hand. Just used him for now. It is really good. I love the smell when it went through my nose. Delicious.   
It was already the last spoon when I took in the last smell of it, and eat it. It is really good. 

LIPS  
Soonyoung? Yes soonyoung..   
I saw him. There. Under the tree, with his notebook. I know what notebook is that, chuckling I went to him and sat beside him. “What are you doing, Soonyoung ah?” Inching near to his side trying to get a glimpse of his note.   
He pulls away “You can’t see it yet Jihoonie!” He hides the note behind his back. I saw how his eyes flickered to every place but me. Scrunching my nose “I know you’re making a new dance step again! Just show it to me. We’re going to perform together anyway, right?” reaching for the note from his back.   
“jihoon ah, no. It’s not a dance step okay? Please?” he was pouting. That cute lips of him. Soft lips..  
“Fine” I gave in. Just because his lips was my biggest weakness. “what is it anyway? How come its not a dance step? I thought you’re going to work on for the talent show?” I look at his eyes, trying to search for answers. I’m not good at it to be honest.  
“It’s nothing, really. For the talent show. I’ve finished it. I’ll show you when we get to your house, okay?” He grinned. His grin is the most playful grin I’ve ever seen.   
“we should go now, then! I really wanna see it” grinning at him. I stood up, dusting my pants from the soil I sat on, I put out my hand out for Soonyoung and he gladly accepts it.   
Swinging our hands together, he started it anyway. I’m just following. We walks together back to my house. Soonyoung was humming the song that I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. The tune is nice, maybe I’ll just ask him later.   
We get into my room, it is spacious, well for two of us. Basically Soonyoung would show the dance here and teach me the steps. It’s really convenience with the size of my room. I love my room so much. Get to spent time as much as I want is one of the reason. Grinning, I watched Soonyoung started to warms up.   
His move, captivated. I’m in love once again. The way he moves his legs, his arms, his hip. How he express his feeling with his face. He was into it. He’s a show, that I would love to watch every second of it. I’m in too deep, and I don’t mind.   
“do you get the steps? Jihoonie?” Soonyoung waves his hand in front of my face few times before I woke up from my daydream “you’re zoning out again, hoonie? Did you even get the dance” He squinted his 10:10 eyes at me. “I got it! Yeah I got it” To be honest, no. I was busy taking in all of his being to even focus on the steps.   
“you didn’t get the steps down again hoonie” Soonyoung scolds me for the umpteenth times. “you didn’t get pay attention when I showed the steps, aren’t you” He looks at me, straight to the eyes. Cheeks heating up. I shake my head a ‘no’ “thought so” he chuckles. “you were busy fantasying about me, aren’t you?” wriggling his eyebrows, chuckling.   
He slowly shows me the steps again. Slowly getting down the steps in my head. Soon I get the steps down, I dance with Soonyoung, feeling it once again when he put on the song that I had worked on for our talent show on the next Thursday.   
“You dance really well~” he pat my head. Scrunching my nose, as I glare at him for patting my head. “I’m not a dog, Soonyoung ah” Chuckling, he pinches my cheeks. Can he stop, slowly pouts “You’re my cute hoonie. You’re not a dog of course” grinning, he pulls me into a hug. Sweats. Ugh our sweats together, but I don’t mind. Chuckling, I wrapped my arms around his body, snuggling into his chest, taking in his scent. Sighing in content. I love his scent, especially after dance. He smells the best. I’m not weird. He smell really nice.   
“hoonie~” He cooed. I look up just to be met with his lips, kissing me slowly. Smiling into the kisses, I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kisses.   
I love everything about him, but of course, just like everyone, I have my favorite. My favorite is his lips. His soft, tenderness, warm lips. My favorite. Mine forever. 

 

I woke up due to the siren. What happened? I look at the door as I heard footsteps. Heavy footsteps. It’s getting near. I was scared, until I heard his voice Soonyoung.   
“HERE!” conjuring all my might, shouting. “SOONYOUNG AH ! IN HERE! I’m here! Save me please!” Trying to free myself from the rope, that tied me to the bed.  
I look up to the door, just in case.   
The door open, and there he was Soonyoung ah I can’t help but feels emotional. He made his way to the bed I’m on. Untying the rope, freeing myself before enveloping me, cradling me in his arm. He shush me as I start to weep in his chest. Mumbling incoherent words. Telling him what happened, how scared I was, thanking him for coming this fast.  
He carries me out of the house, into the police car. I saw how the police handcuffed seungcheol and push him into the vehicle. I’m free. I’m safe. Cuddling into Soonyoung’s arm, getting in his scent. It feels home.   
“thank you for saving me, Soonyoung ah” He looks at me and smiles. Pecking my forehead. I pout, showing him that I want it on my lips. He chuckles before pecking me on my lips. I glared at him “what?” he asked. “kiss..” Pouting again. “wow hoonie. If you’re like this after getting kidnap, I don’t mind saving you again” I glared at him, hitting his chest with my fist, lightly. He chuckles before giving me a long kiss, I had been craving for.   
My favorite. 

Seungcheol 

I look at how Soonyoung hugs Jihoon. It should be me. I was supposed to be in that position. Watching them together, makes me sad. I don’t regret taking him away. I don’t regret anything. Maybe this is the only way to stop me. I sighed.   
Getting into the vehicle, they drove me to the station.   
I was locked up. I need to stay inside.   
It’s been weeks ever since I was admitted in here. The prisoner aren’t that nice, but they’re not that bad either. I mean, there’s this cute American boy who got in because he kill his parents for not letting him sing. He doesn’t mean it. He told me that. He said that he regret it and if he can turn the time back, he will follow what his parents told him to do. Oh, his name is Joshua Hong. We got close, but I can't still accept anyone just how I accept Jihoon. Sighing, I laid myself on the bed.   
Reminiscing the memory I have with Jihoon. From our childhood, to middle school, until high school. The moment when Jihoon told me about Soonyoung, I knew he fall. Fall too deep. Just like how I fall for him. Too deep to climb up, Too late to stop. I’m hurting. Its taking toll on me.  
Although it has only been weeks, I have wrote tons of letters. Letters to Jihoon, to Soonyoung, to Jeonghan. Hoping they're doing just fine.  
Cause I’m dying in here.   
Even though I tried to stop.   
I just can’t. I am still hoping that Jihoon would love me just how I love him. It will just be a hope. A wish, that won’t be able to be accomplished.   
Slowly writing on white paper, listing all things that makes me fall for Jihoon, set it down on the floor.  
I stepped on the chair, grabbing the rope that I had tied before, slowly putting my head into the loop. Thoughts of him running in my mind as I keep on thinking about him. The thoughts of him is slowly killing me. Kicking the chair away, as I took my life, ending my suffering for loving Jihoon. 

Lee Jihoon.

The thought of you,  
Its consuming me,   
Wherever I am,  
Whatever I do. 

Your eyes,   
Your skin,   
Your smell,  
Your hands,   
My hands on you. 

Your heart,   
Your tenderness,   
Your touch,   
Your stubbornness,   
Your bitchiness.

Your food,   
Your books,   
Your movies,   
Your music.   
I know it all. 

Your attitude,   
Your smirk.   
Your strength, 

And lastly, I crumbled, I’m mad, I’m sad.   
The thought of you,   
With your boyriend,   
Kwon Soonyoung.

The thought of you,   
It’s consuming me,   
It was never mine,   
It will never be.

 

Goodbye, my love, Lee Jihoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Pubished this before on wattpad(precioushoshiii) and asianfanfics(hoshi_starkwon), but i guess majority of soonhoon readers are here, i decided to publish it on here too ><
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy reading this ! 
> 
> \-- precioushoshiii


End file.
